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Primetime
(Dec. 4, 2002, ABC TV
- Diane Sawyer
PRIMETIME LIVE WHITNEY HOUSTON
View the interview in RealVideo.
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DIANE SAWYER, ABC NEWS
(Voice Over) A very special "Primetime." Whitney Houston, speaking out at last.

DIANE SAWYER (CONTINUED)
(Off Camera) I'm going to show you the picture.

WHITNEY HOUSTON, SINGER
Oh, yeah.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) That anorexia, bulimia, that it's because of drugs?

DIANE SAWYER (CONTINUED) (Voice Over) Her fans were frightened for her life. Tonight, the rumors, the accusations, no question off limits.

DIANE SAWYER (CONTINUED)
(Off Camera) Is it alcohol? Is it marijuana? Is it cocaine? Is it pills? All?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Yeah, I'll grant you, I partied.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Whitney dying. Crack rehab fails.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
First of all, let's get one thing straight, crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) She is perhaps the greatest voice of her generation.

DIANE SAWYER (CONTINUED)
(Voice Over) Back with her first original album in four years. Where has she been? What about the cancellations? And her turbulent marriage to singer Bobby Brown? He talks.

DIANE SAWYER (CONTINUED)
(Off Camera) Have you ever hit her?

DIANE SAWYER (CONTINUED)
(Voice Over) And so does she.

DIANE SAWYER (CONTINUED)
(Off Camera) And this is forever.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
That's what I said. Didn't you?

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) Tonight, Whitney Houston, on everything from the early days to her father's $100 million lawsuit against his daughter. A "Primetime" exclusive, one night only. Whitney Houston as you've never seen her before.

ANNOUNCER
From ABC News, this is a special edition of "Primetime," with Diane Sawyer and Charles Gibson. Tonight, Whitney Houston. Now, from Times Square in New York, Diane Sawyer.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Good evening. Charlie's off tonight, as we welcome you to this special edition of "Primetime," a "Primetime" exclusive. Whitney Houston at last. After years now of rumors and silence on her part, she's going to talk about the cancellations, erratic behavior, her explosive marriage, and the headlines that she was near death because of drug use, or partying, as she calls it. And after all, for nearly 20 years, the girl with the voice on fire has fascinated us. Her 170 million records sold, six Grammys, two Emmys. Recently, her hit "I Will Always Love You" voted the top love song of all time. Well, now she has her first original album in four years hitting the stores next week. And so, tonight, we traveled to her new home in Atlanta. She's just moving in. Where Whitney Houston not only shows up, but opens up about it all.

DIANE SAWYER (CONTINUED)
(Voice Over) Even if you couldn't see her, the voice alone could stop your heart.

DIANE SAWYER (CONTINUED)
(Voice Over) And then open your eyes.

DIANE SAWYER (CONTINUED)
(Voice Over) Whitney Houston, the beautiful girl who doesn't just sing the ballads, but tear them from her soul.

DIANE SAWYER (CONTINUED)
(Voice Over) For half her lifetime, she's been at the scalding center of the spotlight. Intense, complicated, edgy, and then, in recent years, with a series of high profile cancellations, it looked as if she might also be losing control. The last time most of us saw her, the Michael Jackson concert. We gasped at the skeletal frame that walked on to the stage. And the woman who seemed to sing to us from the doorway to death. So when we arrived for the interview, we didn't know what we'd find. We were told she was suffering from laryngitis because she'd been traveling, just back from Los Angeles. But like everyone else, most of all, we wondered how frail she would look when she walked in the room.

DIANE SAWYER (CONTINUED)
(Off Camera) You know that as we sit here and talk . . .

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Yeah.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Everybody watching this . . .

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Yeah.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Is going to be staring at you, physically.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Yeah.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) And they're going to be saying, how thin is she now?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Yeah.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) How, how many bones can we see? Is she sick? And how sick is she?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
I'm not sick, Diane. I am not sick. Let's get that straight. I'm not sick. Okay? I've always been a thin girl. I'm not going to be fat, ever. Let's get that straight. Whitney is not going to be fat, ever. Okay?

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) The Michael Jackson VH-1 appearance. I'm going to show you the picture.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Well, that's a bad shot.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Well, it may be a bad shot, but this is real. I mean, the, the bones. That's real.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Yeah, my bones, yeah. I'm, I'm 5'7" and thin. I can understand what you mean.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) But that's not just thin.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
No? What is it, Diane, tell me. Do you know?

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) It's scary thin.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
I can believe what you, what you feel. I can believe that. But do you really know? Do you really know?

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) No, you know.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Thank you.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Anorexia?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
No way.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) They've written it.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
No way.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Bulimia.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
No way.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) That it's because of drugs.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
No. Mm mm. Now, I'll grant you, I partied. But there were times when I know I was going through a lot of emotional stress and my eating habits were awful.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Whitney dying, crack rehab fails.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
First of all, let's get one thing straight. Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack. Let's get that straight. Okay? We don't do crack. We don't do that. Crack is whack.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) Which raises the question, what drugs has she done and how deep did they take her? Later on in this hour, we'll have a long conversation about drug use. And the path that brought her here, nearly 40 years after she was born to the sound of music in Newark, New Jersey. Houston's mother is gospel and blues great Cissy Houston, who was also the choir minister at New Hope Baptist Church, where the congregation was the first to hear the little girl with the great big gift.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Could you see the reaction on everybody's faces when you sang?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
You know what I used to do, Diane? I would close my eyes like this, and I'd sing. I was so afraid when I'd sing. Then when I would open my eyes, the people would be what we call Holy Ghost fired out. They would be in such, spirit of praise, I think I knew then that it was an infectious thing that God had given me.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) By the age of 17, Houston was auditioning for studios, when the powerful head of Arista, Clive Davis, heard her singing at a nightclub, and became the controlling force in her life, choosing her music, crafting her image, and giving her the confidence that made her a star. In 1983, her appearance on "The Merv Griffin Show" would change her life. And she was only 19.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
I'll never forget. I sang "Home," the song "Home."

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) And soon, she became the biggest-selling debut female debut artist in history.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) At 21, got her first Grammy award. Her mom beams and the presenter is none other than her famous cousin, Dionne Warwick.

DIONNE WARWICK, SINGER
Whitney Houston.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) And the girl with the voice on fire still loves to sing, this is from her new album.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) She says somewhere along the way, the thousands and thousands of appearances around the world began to take their toll.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) While most musicians cancel some of the time, hers always make headlines. She says sometimes it happens because of her fear of disappointing her fans, who always expect a perfect voice. Then there's her emotional reaction to stress, even though everyone seems to think it's all about drugs.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
No. It wasn't always about the drug. I would stay in my room for days, for days at times, just trying to get it together, to know what my next phase was going to be.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) In the mid-'90s, you said "I feel old."

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Yeah, like I've been through a world, a lifetime of stuff.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) And that it just wasn't any fun anymore.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Mm mm. No. I enjoy what I do. I love to sing, but it's just not fun anymore.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Because?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
People are different in the industry. It's about the money. It's about, get it fast.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Do you think you're not tough enough for this business?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Oh, I'm tough enough.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) That was a quick answer.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
I mean, I've lasted this long. You've got to be tough.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) I want to ask you about the cancellations.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Did they tell you how many? Do you know how many? Look at my record, see the concerts I've done, and see how many I've canceled in the 17 years of my career, and add it up.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) But when you read the articles and people talk as if you're just impossible, 'cause you may show, you may not show.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Not true. Not true. Not true. Not true.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) But there's some high profile things you didn't show for.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
True.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) For instance, not showing up for a tribute to her old mentor, Clive Davis, after he'd been forced out of Arista, leaving her on her own.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
I cried. I cried. They just all of a sudden just say one day he's not there. He's gone. That hurt, a lot.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) But not showing up for Clive.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Oh, yeah, that was between him and I. We won't discuss it.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) But what about the most famous no-show of all, at the 2000 Oscars, reportedly after botching her songs during rehearsal?

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Okay, the Academy Awards.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Okay. I was fired from the gig. I didn't mind. I really didn't want to do it anyway. But I'm, I was past that, I'm past that, and it's over now.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Why were you fired?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Because I was not getting along with the guy that was directing the whole thing. Who I've known since I was a kid.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) I think you said laryngitis at the time. I don't think that's what you said.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
It was, it was my, I had bronchitis. I asked him for just a day, just to get it together. And I was kind of pissed off, and I had an attitude about it. And rightfully so. You know, I should not have been on the show, and they fired me. And that was it. And I went home.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) And that's all there was?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
That I can remember.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) People were saying that sometimes you just didn't, you didn't seem there.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Really?

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Yeah.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Probably, that probably was it.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) Once more, she says a lot of it is emotional turmoil, and explains what she calls her physical reaction to stress.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
I'm the kind of person, if, if I have a day that is nerve-wracking, or my week has been bad or something's going down, I won't eat. Some people eat, I don't eat. And it shows in my physical frame.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Can I ask how much you weigh now?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Sure.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) How much do you weigh now?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
I ain't telling you.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) I think I got just sucker-punched. Do you work at it now? To keep your weight up?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
No. You know what?

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Yeah, but if people are going to be looking, and people are going to be pointing.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
But they always have. From the moment I stepped out there. They always have.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) And looking back, the do you apologize, do you want them to . . .

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Yeah, there are things I apologize for. But the things I apologize for, like my concert dates, those are things I apologize for, because the people really matter to me. They matter to me. And I know they came out to see me. And I apologize for that. I'll make it up to you.

ANNOUNCER
In a moment, the truth about her drug use.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) How scared did you get?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Scared.

ANNOUNCER
And the truth about her marriage to R&B singer Bobby Brown.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Has he ever hit you?

ANNOUNCER
When "Primetime" continues.

commercial break

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Someone said every marriage is a foreign country. But for those looking on, few marriages have seemed more mysteriously tempestuous than that of Whitney Houston to high voltage singer Bobby Brown. He, right off the mean streets of Boston, she, the high-gloss beauty, who broke racial barriers, not just in music, but in Hollywood, too.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) It was 1992 when "The Bodyguard" made Whitney Houston a stunning pioneer. Kevin Costner chose her to be his romantic counterpart in the movie, a love affair on screen that had nothing to do with or even mentioned race. The movie made a staggering $400 million, and an unacknowledged barrier fell down, arguably paving the way for romantic leads by other African-American stars.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) You said you were scared to death on "The Bodyguard."

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Scared to death. Terribly frightened. I mean, Kevin Costner. I said, why me? He said, because you're the only one that can sing.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) She says it was her husband who pulled her through.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
I'd wake up in the morning and I'd go, "I can't do this. This is too much for me. Bobby, I'm going to quit today, okay, I'm gonna quit." He said, "No way are you going to do that. If you quit now, you're going to blame me for the rest of my life. You're going to do this movie and you're going to do it well. You can't quit now. You can't turn back."

MALE ONE, PREACHER
To love and to cherish.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
To love and to cherish.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) You're looking at their wedding videos, never before seen publicly. Whitney Houston, regal queen of soulful pop, marrying Bobby Brown, streetwise star of a raunchy brand of R&B.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
With this ring, I thee wed.

MALE ONE
I now pronounce you husband and wife.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) She in her $40,000 wedding dress, 800 guests, and a lot of people around the country wondering, why him?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
We did it.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
You just never pictured Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston together. Who did? Love is where you find it. It's where you find it, and I found it in him, and he found it in me.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) Brown, a kid from the rough part of Boston, first became a star with New Edition.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) Then, he had five number one hits as a solo act, with his own signature dancing.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) They met at a party.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
He was sexy, smooth, a gentleman, and a nice guy, contrary to popular belief. A very nice guy. Treated me like a lady. We're, we're opposites in so many ways, but we're so much alike.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) How are you alike?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
He's family oriented, I am. And they didn't give us six minutes to last. We've gone ten years.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) But there's also been a decade of headlines for this marriage, reports of jealousy, rumors that he hit her. And then his drug use, in and out of rehab, and court, and prison, while she runs to his side.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) On the way down here, a flight attendant came up to me and said, "I'd just like to ask her why she stays with him. Why doesn't she just leave him?"

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Well, I'd like to ask her why she stays with her man. I'd like to know how her utopia is, then we can talk.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Has he ever hit you?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
No, he's never hit me, no. I've hit him, in anger.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) They have separated twice, but always come back to each other. And some people have worried that it's because he has a controlling hold on her, stemming from the days when Houston was under fire from black critics, who accused her of selling out, of being too white.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) At the 1989 Soul Train Awards, a black audience briefly booed her name.

FEMALE ONE, AWARDS ANNOUNCER
"Where Do Broken Hearts Go," Whitney Houston.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) So the critics say Brown gave her street credibility, though it does seem at times she goes out of her way to defer to him, even when she won her 2000 Grammy for best R&B performance.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
And honey, this one's for you, the original R&B king. I love you. This for y'all.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Come back to the feeling that people have, that your husband is controlling, and that you can't get away from it any more than an abused wife can get away from it. Because you can't see it. It's a magnet that pulls you back.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
The magnet that they're talking about is my love and my protection for him. I cannot say that there wasn't a time where, yeah, it was like that. You know? But I was new at it.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) When?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Five, four, five years ago. You know? I was that wife that wanted to be there, to make sure, you know, everything was cool and that, you know, no other women were around and, da-da-da-da-da-da, ba-ba-ba- ba-ba. This is my first love, remember. I had never really ever been in love with anybody like I was in love with Bobby, so I went through all the changes that any girl would go through, you know? I did. I did. But I'm older and I'm wiser now. I'm wiser about it. He can go away and I'm fine. I can go away and he's fine. It's not the Svengali tactic anymore.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Once somebody's done that, though, it is hard to let go.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
I don't want to let go of him.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) No, it's hard to let go of . . .

WHITNEY HOUSTON
He doesn't want to let go of me.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) A Svengali relationship.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
I did with Clive.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) At this point, someone has slipped into the room, sitting on the sofa, listening. It's Bobby Brown, hearing me ask if he's jealous of her.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) True? Not true?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Sometimes.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) She says sometimes, but from the sofa, he says, "Never."

WHITNEY HOUSTON
But sometimes I am of him.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Come over here. Come over here. I can't do this anymore. You have to come over here.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) Time to talk together about this famously turbulent marriage.

DIANE SAWYER (CONTINUED)
(Off Camera) But why is it so turbulent?

BOBBY BROWN, SINGER
I think marriage is turbulent you know? We're just in the public eye. You know? A lot of people, you know, that are married go through worse problems than us.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Have you ever hit her?

BOBBY BROWN
No, no, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't, I would never.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
What does, what is this hitting me business?

BOBBY BROWN
I have four sisters. Four aunts, a mother. You know? Two daughters. I would never raise my hands in, in any kind of way to them. I love, I love the beauty of woman. And this is mine. No, no, no. Now, I admit, I'm, I'm, you know, I'm a wild guy. You know, sometimes, you know. I like all the attention. You know?

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Does it bother you when she gets all the attention?

BOBBY BROWN
No, that doesn't, at all.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Yeah, but you're in the same business. How do you not compare?

BOBBY BROWN
No, but, but she's, she's a female. And no one can touch me as an entertainer. No one. You know, so I don't worry about that.

BOBBY BROWN
I know no one can touch her as Whitney Houston. Her voice, no one can outsing her, you know, no one can outperform her, no one. So she has her part and I have my part, and you know, that's what makes it easy.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
We share that.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) And they also share the notoriety about his drug use. He has admitted that he's an alcoholic.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
And it's hard, because we're rock 'n' rollers, man, I mean . . .

BOBBY BROWN
That's the life we live here, you know?

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) And this is the Atlanta courtroom where, just last week, a judge refused to throw out six year-old charges against Brown for speeding and driving without a license. While, in fact, the morning we arrived, he'd been arrested again for the same thing, and this time, with marijuana in the car.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Tell me about you and drugs.

BOBBY BROWN
Me and drugs, we're not friends. We're not friends at all. I used to, I used to smoke a lot of marijuana, a lot.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) But marijuana is still in your life?

BOBBY BROWN
Yeah, because I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm the type of person that I'm a very high, high, high-strung person. I'm bipolar. It seems to help me from going up and down.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) You're diagnosed bipolar?

BOBBY BROWN
I'm, I'm diagnosed bipolar. And it helps me to keep, keep, keep the, keep a level in my life, you know?

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) But is there lithium? Did you get it treated?

BOBBY BROWN
I can't take lithium. Lithium has me like this.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
He was catatonic. You know, it took him to, like, his spirit was dead, you know.

BOBBY BROWN
Every now and then, you know, I smoke a joint. Every now and then, you know. It's not an everyday thing. It's maybe every other day. But it's not an everyday thing. But it, it, it keeps, it keeps, it keeps me calm.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) What about other drugs?

BOBBY BROWN
No. No. I never have. Never have and never will. That's, that's another thing that used to get me so mad. I heard about . . .

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Yeah, they said you tested for cocaine.

BOBBY BROWN
But I tested, I tested for, I tested for a, a substance like cocaine, which can be anything. It could be an aspirin. It could be a valium. It could be anything. But it was not cocaine in my system. And this is what I know.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Hey, baby.

BOBBY BROWN
It has been ten years since we've been married, right? They didn't think we was going to make it.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) On her new album, she has a duet with Brown, it's called "My Love."

WHITNEY HOUSTON
I've learned so much from him as an artist.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) What have you learned?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
How to move, to be more fluid.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Free.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Free. You know what I mean? Don't be so constrained. Nothing's perfect. Nothing's perfect.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) And this is forever?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
That's what I said. That's what I said. Didn't you?

ANNOUNCER
Living the life of a star.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
My business is sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll, you know?

ANNOUNCER
Until she was overwhelmed by the dark side of fame.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Do you think of yourself as an addict?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
I don't like to think of myself addicted. I like to think of, I had a bad habit.

ANNOUNCER
When "Primetime" returns.

commercial break

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Now, we're back with Whitney Houston, and the topic is drugs. Questions about addiction, recovery, and how close she really came to that shadowland between living and dying. When we arrived at the interview, we had no idea if she would answer any questions at all on the topic. Right away, she made it clear that her partying, as she calls it, is not about anyone else. It's her journey, her struggle.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
My business is sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll. You know? I mean, my friends, we have a good time. But as you get older, you get wiser. You know? You stop a lot of the kid stuff. I had no time to grow up, had no time to party. I didn't even date in my, date in my 20s. It was rough. It was rough. I think I kind of reverted back as I got older. And I said, well I'm just gonna party, you know? It was kind of a rebel in me, you know?

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Did you think how dangerous it was?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
No. I wasn't, I wasn't like shooting heroin or anything.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) This says $730,000 drug habit. This is a headline.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Come on, 730? I wish. No. I wish that was making that money off of me, you could share it with me. No, no way. I want to see the receipts. From the drug dealer that I bought $730,000 worth of drugs from. I want to see the receipts.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Is it alcohol? Is it marijuana? Is it cocaine? Is it pills?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
It has been. At times.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) All?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
At times.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) If you had to name the devil for you, the biggest devil among them?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
That would be me. It's my deciding, it's my heart, it's what I want. And what I don't want. Nobody makes me do anything I don't want to do. It's my decision. So the biggest devil is me. I'm either my best friend or my worst enemy. And that's how I have to deal with it.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Do you think of yourself as an addict?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
I am addicted to a few things.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Like?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Making love. I don't like to think of myself addicted. I like to think of, I had a bad habit, which can be broken.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) But it's hard. In 1999, her mother, blues singer Cissy Houston, tried to intervene, after reports that Whitney and Bobby had a wild fight in a hotel room.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
And she gets in my door, there's some people I want you to meet. I said, mommy, you've raised me with the love, and with God. Now, if I can't make it with you and with the love of God, I'm not putting my, my, my life in someone else's hands. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. And nobody else, I don't care where they're from, what counsel service, or whatever they're from, if you did this to me, I will go and leave the country, take Krissy with me, and we'll just go. And I was very serious. And she said, everybody leave, please. Wait a minute. Because she's serious.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) But flash forward. It didn't work. Here is September, 2001. Again, the night of the Michael Jackson concert. Whitney Houston insists that the story of that period in her life is not just one of drugs. She says she was upset about the plane crash that had just killed the young singer, Aaliyah. And then, there's the ongoing pressure of that career.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) But tell me about you that night. First of all, had you been partying? Is that part of it?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Was I, I can't say it was like an everyday kind of thing, yeah. I hung out with some friends and I partied.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Did it seem to ease the pressure? Did it quiet the voice in your head?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Seemed.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Seemed?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Seemed, yes.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) But there she is, skin and bones, in photos taken live that night, even though by the time the tape of the show was broadcast on television, Houston had been electronically fattened up. Pounds had been added to her frame.

DIANE SAWYER (CONTINUED)
(Off Camera) Did you see that they took electronic devices and changed it for the air?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
They did it for me and a few other people.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Other people, too? Other people, yes? Because that sparked that whole thing, when the headlines were saying "Whitney is dying."

WHITNEY HOUSTON
No. "Whitney was dead."

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) And Houston says something in those headlines brought her to a turning point. Other people looking at her forced her to look at herself.

DIANE SAWYER (CONTINUED)
(Off Camera) How scared did you get?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Scared. When they said that I had died, I did, I changed my mind. I changed my mind. Yep. Because I didn't want to look like the rest of them. I didn't want to be like them. It frightened me. I don't ever want to be in the realm of, where I'm caught in a mold and I can't get out. Never. That's over. I'm beyond it.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Do you think you came close?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
I think as close as anybody, I think, can get. I know folks who have come closer. But that's as close as I want to be. That's as close as I think it gets.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) And how sure are you that those bad days you talked about are behind you?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
I know that I'm on the right path, because I'm back home where I started, in here. I can't tell you it's all going to be perfect, Diane, and I can't say . . .

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Yeah, because every, everybody says it's day by day, day by day.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) But now do you say, not at all, or do you say, I can . . .

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Well, I'm not going to tell you that. I can tell you that I am not self-destructive. I'm not a person who wants to die. I'm a person who has life, who wants to live. And I always have. And I wouldn't mistake it for anything else other than that.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Are you strong enough to do that now?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
I think so.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) And not let it get you?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Mm hmm. Yes, I am.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) 'Cause most people . . .

WHITNEY HOUSTON
I pray everyday that I am. I'm not the strongest everyday, but I'm not the weakest, either. And I won't break. And I won't break.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Is today a good day?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Today's a great day. It's a blessed day.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) No temptations today?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
I have a few temptations, but it's not about drugs, it's about kicking ass, but, you know.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Mine?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
No. This is a blessing.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) But we kept wondering how hard will it be for her to change her life when drug use is so close in those she loves, not only her husband, her two brothers have each been caught with cocaine and marijuana. And this past May, her cousin, Dionne Warwick, stopped at an airport with marijuana, too.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Your cousin.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Jesus.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Your cousin did.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Very isolated incidents. One had nothing to do with the other.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) And even though she's not in conventional rehab, Houston insists that today in Atlanta, she's surrounded by something just as strong, a prayer partner, Perry Nixon(PH) She calls her Sister Perry. And her belief in a higher being, who she says rescues those who need help.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
I talk to people who have been through rehab, and a lot of people that come through it, come through it with God. They tell you in a rehab that 90 percent of you are gonna return. That's not nice. That's not nice. So what I did is I looked in my soul to see what was missing.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) So for the people out there who say we want to help, we want to help build a barrier between her and drugs, what do you want them to pray for?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Don't pray about the drugs. Leave the drugs alone.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Why? Why?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Don't, don't, pray for me, as a person, for my soul, that I'm stronger. And man, I don't care what anybody else says or did or what they claimed I was, I know I'm a child of God, and I know He loves me. Jesus loves me, this I know. Yeah.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) And when we come back, why did her father bring a $100 million lawsuit against her? And his daughter dissolves in tears.

commercial break

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) As we said, Whitney Houston's new album, "Just Whitney," comes out next week, and it's a new chapter in her life. In the past two years, she's not only lost her mentor, Clive Davis, she became estranged from her oldest friend, and then from her father. As so often in her life before, song is mixed with sadness, pain mixed with joy.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) That voice, someone said once it's a Stradivarius among ordinary violins. As we said, this is her first album without the man who molded her, Clive Davis, this one, supervised by the new head of Arista, LA Reid. Even though the day we talked, as we said, she had a case of laryngitis, she said her voice in the music is the portrait of a woman 19 years into stardom and 100 years wiser. But as her mother once said, singing is one thing, the music business is another. It can bruise relationships, even with old friends like Robyn Crawford, friend and employee. Once so close to her, Houston had to deny rumors the two of them were gay. She still denies the rumors and says Crawford left two years ago, after arguing with Bobby Brown about who should advise Houston.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
There isn't competition. There's no competition. That's my husband. If you want to be my friend, let's remain friends. If you can't handle that, sorry.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) And in the pause, a message for Crawford.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
And I love ya.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) And then, last September, the biggest blow of all, Houston's father, who managed his daughter's finances, joined his business partner in a lawsuit against her, demanding $100 million for management help, they say, during her troubles, and in getting her a big new contract with Arista.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Your father's filing suit against you, $100 million. Do you feel betrayed?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
It hurts. They'll never get $100 million out of me. I know that.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) But they claim that you haven't paid them for things they did, like . . .

WHITNEY HOUSTON
They were never hired. But I won't get into it.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Can you talk to him? What has he said to you?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
My father is, 81, very sick. His health is failing. Somebody is, who my father's associated with, has put fear in his heart, as if he's not my father and I'm not his daughter.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Do you still love him?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Absolutely. He gave me life. Before all of this, there were years that I can't forget. The bad part about it is that it's about money, and that really sucks. That's, that hurts more than anything.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) When you think it's the dad who dressed you and walked you down the aisle, what are you thinking?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
That moment. Can I stop, please?

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Sure.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Thanks. I'll be back.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Sure.

ANNOUNCER
The daughter who gives Whitney the strength to fight her battles, ahead.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Do you like to sing?

BOBBI KRISTINA, DAUGHTER
Yes.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Would you like it?

BOBBI KRISTINA
Yes, and I want to be like my mommy and daddy.

ANNOUNCER
And the dreams for the future. When "Primetime" returns.

commercial break

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) And now, someone we told you you'd get a chance to meet. You may have heard in the past about Whitney Houston's difficult pregnancies, her miscarriages. But then, almost ten years ago, she gave birth to a little girl. And she and Bobby Brown say Bobbi Kristina is the happiest music in their lives.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Early in the morning, she and I would have private time together when nobody's around. And I'll sneak up to her room, about 6:00, and I'll get in the bed with her and I'll say, okay, we gotta get up in a little while. And I'll rub her stomach, wake the stomach up, wake up your back, wake up the mind, wake up the, you know, body. And talk.

BOBBI KRISTINA
You know, the perfect thing is like, on, like, a Sunday or something like that, when we like, like, sit and, you know, we get to watch TV or like, listen to gospel music or have breakfast together.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) And what do you like about your mom's voice?

BOBBI KRISTINA
I like her voice because it's really nice and it makes me go to sleep.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) She sings you lullabies?

WHITNEY HOUSTON
I love you, I love you.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) Ten years from now, give me the perfect life for Whitney Houston.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
Retired. Sitting, looking at my daughter grow up, become a great woman of God, grandchildren.

DIANE SAWYER
(Voice Over) And perhaps, some measure of peace for Whitney Houston, a woman whose ethereal talent is matched only by the uncertainties of her all too human life.

WHITNEY HOUSTON
This is my time, now. You know, love me or leave me. But love me, 'cause I love you.

DIANE SAWYER
(Off Camera) And next Tuesday morning, Whitney Houston sings in concert on "Good Morning America." And you can find more of my interview with Whitney Houston at abcnews.com.

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